seraph7: (Default)
I feel very down and out of sorts today. I think it's because I have been really tired and fed up after working all weekend yet again. I feel I live there at the moment. Frankly it's a bit depressing considering that I spend most of my time at work slaving my guts out and yet I still can't afford to do anything.
My life feel like a constant round on the treadmill. Work. Sleep. Work. Sleep. Naturally nothing is getting done. I desperately need a holiday but I'm pretty sure that I won't be able to get one 'til after April if I get one at all. This is very depressing.
I have ideas for 'Songbirds' but I don't know whether I can sort this out. This draft is taking way too long to sort out. I know I have to be patient but it's hard to know if I'm just wasting my time. Most of the time I work alone and it doesn't bother me that much but I don't have a great deal of self-confidence at the moment.

This popped up on my f list. I would imagine there is several weeks worth of reading on this one. To be honest it's probably the kick up the arse that I need fic-wise. I really do need to finish 'The Poignard' and then it can take pride of place there as well. Not to mention 'In too Deep' and 'Shades of Loyalty' as well.

Master List of Gen Kill AUs

in case anyone's interested.
I was kind of getting to the stage when I was considering just leaving it because I've written myself into a corner and I don't really know how to write myself out of it. The end is written; there's a whole bunch of plot that happens after the massacre and the king's death. But I just cannot for the love of God get past this plot hole. More like a plot swamp at this point.
I cannot find anyone who wants to beta and to be honest I know it's a big ask. It's long. Very long. I actually wish I hadn't written it long. But try as I might I really cannot write short and it's something that I'm going to have to work on.
I mean 'Songbirds was only meant to be a short slight tale and it's close to 80k or will be by the end of the week.

I think I need something to cheer me up a bit as I can tell I'm doing the moping thing, and that's not good. How about this?

Double Exposure featuring Armie Hammer and Jessica Stroup
getting hot and heavy for a photoshoot. And before you ask: No I am not remotely green with envy. Why do you ask?

Since I have no money, I think I'm going to spend the next two days writing 'Songbirds' I only hope I can get some head way on it. I just want to finish this draft now!
seraph7: (deborah portait)
Just collected my cupcakes from my workmate. They were beautiful, she really did a good job on them. We're going to have the meal later at The Bell, so that's something to to.

I actually found myself working on 'The Poignard' for the first time in ages. If I can get this chase scene sorted then I might even try and get another chapter up. I don't know if I will be able to because they're having some down time soon so I will have to check. I would really love to get this big plot hole sorted then I can post up to the massacre with an easy conscience. There's so much more of this to be posted, it's not funny. It's certainly the longest thing I've ever written and it's not finished yet, although I have written the ending pretty much. I know it's fanfic , so it's not something I can properly publish, but I am actually quite proud of it. I love tackling the thoroughly dysfunctional Valois family and exploring that whole dynamic and introducing the Gen Kill boys to this. It's probably not very historical and wildly OOC but I love it that's what matters.

I really must finish my Social Network prompts as well. For some reason I really crave rare pair stuff. Not that I don't appreciate Mark/Eduardo but I get very happy when I see a Cameron/Tyler or even Cameron/Erica. Which is strange and entirely due to the film because I'm a bit bemused and exasperated by the real life guys. I think I'm still getting the hang of this separation of fiction and real life.I never though I would actually consider writing an RPF prompt about anyone ever but I really have been pondering one about Armie which is interesting and worrying at the same time. It's not really romantic, more about his grandfather and his legacy and how he deals with it in an age where the press are so keen to tear everyone down. I was reading about it and he was quite the controversial character. It definitely got me looking for the wider story behind that which is one of the things that always sparks off my muse. I don't know if I can write it because I do have some very real reservations about RPF to be honest. But I do think it would be a fantastic story tackled right.

At the moment I'm listening to 'The Medium' by Gian Carlo Menotti. Ever since I sang in a concert and one of the other girls sang 'The Black Swan' I have been looking for arias of his to tackle. I tend to sing it a lot at work for some reason when I feel sad. It does actually suit the voice very well. I just need to work on the 'Oh Black Wave' part at the end. At college one of my teachers suggested I look for an aria called 'Steal me Sweet thief' from the Old Maid and the Thief. This was a bit strange as I don't think I actually sang properly on the treble stave for most of the time I was there to be honest. I was always stuck doing the men's parts as we had few males on the course. It was highly frustrating as I do have decent low notes but I'm a soprano/high mezzo and need to sing in the correct register.I actually wonder whether I did some damage doing that for so long.
seraph7: (Default)
After a long, long day at work I finally got to watch 'Black Swan'. I still don't quite know what to think about it to be honest. It was good, don't get me wrong, but very unsettling. I think I'd also forgotten just how squeamish I can be , so that was something was having trouble with.
I've really only got disjointed thoughts on it at the moment.

* I think Natalie Portman did a good job, I really do. I would not say I'm a big fan of hers but the character really stuck with me. She wasn't very sympathetic but you went on the journey with her and fair props for the dancing as well. I'm always struck with admiration for the sheer physical effort involved in dancing ballet. I know for a fact my body simply couldn't do it, let alone well.
* God, Vincent Cassell's character was a Grade A prick, but strangely enough I still found him attractive. I dunno there's just something about that man. Objectively, he's not conventionally handsome at all but I so would. In a heartbeat. Even though he would be very bad for me.
* I think it worked mostly because Portman really showed the duality that was always there. That 'sweet little girl' trapped in that sugar-pink world by her mother and the paranoid terrified woman lashing out.
* I liked Mila Kunis's character, but you could see she was a bit of a minx.I really think given the chance she would have stabbed Nina in the back in a flutter of an eyelid.
D'ye know what? I would love the see the fic from this fandom, I really would. I don't think I would ever attempt to write for it, but I'd read the hell out of it.

On the subject of fandoms and fic, I still can't believe I'm dabbling in The Social Network fic. I think it's because the fandom is just really enthusiastic and welcoming, before I knew it I was tapping away at a couple of prompts. Gen Kill is always going to be my fandom love but it's nice to plunge in elsewhere. I think I appreciate the fic more when I do come back than when I permanently camped out in one place.

I really want to see 'Never let me go' now as well. There is a possibility they might nominate it as British Film of the Month at work so we'll actually get it.

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